Failing doesn’t mean Failure....or does it?

Failing doesn’t mean Failure....or does it?

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Just as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so are our successes and failures because everything is a result of how we see it. What some see as failing, can others view it as success?

First instinct is probably no, but let me break it down by interpreting some specific examples.

Let’s look at the fate of a boxer falling down after he was hit hard. Some determined and persistent ones would keep getting right back up. Some will end up winning and some will lose. Let’s say you keep getting knocked down and getting back up, but ultimately lose the fight. Did you fail?

You failed to win the fight, but succeeded in giving it your best effort and not giving up. That is something to be proud of and to every circumstance there is always a silver lining.

My dad was a professional boxer. He was that type of person who when he would get knocked down, he would get right back up, and with even more determination to win......and he did. He never lost a fight, except for the one time when his coach threw in the towel after he got clocked a good one.

Ohhhh, Dad was so mad at his coach! He said, “What did you do that for? I was just about to get up and get that #@&*^%.”

I think I get some of my tenacity from my dad. While searching for literary representation for my book Bravery, I must have sent over 300 queries to agents, and received over 300 rejections.

Did I give up? Sometimes it crossed my mind because I was so frustrated. I would keep getting the same old email response saying, ‘' We are sorry but agencies just can’t risk picking up new and unknown authors these days.”

Man, it was hard to continually face that much rejection.....and very humbling. Every morning I would excitedly check my emails, and every morning just more rejection letters. But I wasn’t going to shelf that manuscript, no way!

So, I learned how to self-publish and did it on my own. I’m so thankful I didn’t see those rejections as failures because I often still get calls and emails four years later from people who have been profoundly affected by reading Bravery.

I have friends who have never given up on their life’s ambition, despite many downfalls along the way, but I don’t see that as a failure.....I see it as getting one step closer to their goal by persevering, and I am more proud of them for that than anything else they do.

I love Thomas Edison's response to all his failed attempts at inventing the light bulb, "I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work.”

One thing I have come to understand is that there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to many of our results....there is only the way you feel that determines the outcome.

For example, if you keep failing at something and decide to move on to something else, then that is the right decision you have made.....accept it with pride. However, if you decide to persevere and keep trying in hopes to succeed, even if you may not, then that is the right decision for you.

As long as you can be at peace with your choices, then you are making the right ones.

The most important lesson to learn is that we have a choice to believe and think whatever we choose....so choose to be proud of yourself. No matter what.....it’s really is that simple. Don’t over analyze....shoulda....coulda....woulda only holds you further back from reaching your desires.

It’s not winning or succeeding that we should be most proud of, it’s instead the determination to keep trying until we get there, or the acceptance it wasn’t meant to be.

One of my favorite quotes is from Henry Ford and it reads, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

God Bless,

Kim Gemmell

 


 

 


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