Is it Better to Have Loved and Lost Than to Never Have Loved at All?

Is it Better to Have Loved and Lost Than to Never Have Loved at All?

kim mya bike2

 

Recently, I lost my faithful doggy side kick and best friend, Mya.

We did everything together....walks everyday, and often bike rides. Being a four pound Chihuahua, she easily fit nestled into the basket hooked to the steering wheel, and especially loved sticking her nose in the air as we sped down the hills on the mountain.

She slept with me, on my pillow every night, and followed my every move around the house.

Mya could always sense if I was going to be going somewhere, and always parked herself by the door so I wouldn’t miss taking her with me. I spent way more time with her than my husband or children.

I knew her health was failing due to an enlarged heart, but with medication our vet said it was difficult to say how much time we had left with her. I knew she was on borrowed time, but you are never prepared to say good-bye.

mya sweater

On Monday, we drove up the hill to our favorite walking spot. I could tell she was more listless because normally she can’t wait to get out the door, but on this particular morning she just looked at me.

I picked her up thinking a walk would perk her up, but sadly no....she took a few steps and lied down. Her panting and labored breathing began to escalate and I just knew this would be our last trip up the mountain.

I began to sob uncontrollably as I picked her up and held her in my arms. She seemed more content with me holding her so I did our usual route carrying her. Tears streamed down as I feared this would be our last walk together, and it was.

Our vet said her lungs were filled with fluid and her little heart has given up.

After eleven years, it was Mya’s time to rest in peace.

Needless to say, I was a mess, and our whole family was too. I walked around completely vacant for days, feeling so lonely not having my sidekick beside me. The doorbell rings and there’s no barking. My hand lifts above my head on the pillow in the middle of the night and there is no Mya there to comfort me. That welcoming smile and wagging tail at the end of a stressful day is gone. Walks and bike rides are empty and lonely.

Life is not the same.

In time, the tears will get fewer and further in between, and smiles will slowly replace tears as wonderful memories allow us to adjust to our new normal.

My mom says she has loved and lost too many animals and that is why she will never get another one. I get that....I have lost many of my cats and dogs in my life that I loved dearly.

Perhaps we get to a point when we say, “I’ve lost too many and I just can’t do it anymore.” You never get used to it, and you can never get prepared for it.

I can’t say if we will get another dog....the pain of losing Mya is too raw right now. However, thankfully most of us humans have this wondrous gift to eventually dull out the pain and fondly remember the fun times we spent together. I thank God for this ability to know time heals our wounds.

Scars may remain, but if we look at it in a positive light...those scars can be a reminder to live in the moment and enjoy the time we have with our loved ones, and fondly remember the ones who once were.

Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, so let’s make the best of everyday and everyone.

mya clover

 


 

 


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By email: kim@kimgemmell.com

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